Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Give or not to Give

Well Valentines Day's came and went. Many people shopped online or at stores to purchase their love one clothes, candies, teddy bears and even flowers. This day is set aside to help give that guy or girl the opportunity they probably avoided or neglected to do; and express to their special someone that they care. This day is known to cause many people mostly men, high levels of stress. This year was interesting, I didn't' see the same aggressive attitude towards the day, as during previous years. I saw many flower stands full of fresh roses for purchasing, and the many card stores didn't run out of cards as quickly. Then I thought maybe the so called recession set in and slowed down the past valentines day warriors from their hunting, but in all something changed.

Are people finally starting to realize that valentines isn't as effective a holiday it once was. Years ago, valentines often set the tone of your relationship for the rest of the year. February is often a cold and dreary month, people often aren't at their peak levels, they're still working out what plans they would like to carry out for the year, and who if possible they would want to see standing by their side during their transitions. This day was crucial to that planning, but now the flame has dwindled some. It seems from what I'm hearing, people have gotten wiser to the meaning of the holiday. Basically, if your love one, never expressed their love for you in months leading up to Valentines, then chances are what ever love they show, is months old. People want to know their loved, if possible everyday. I've learned women love are more receptive to a valentines day gift, when the gift giver has been giving all year long. Its like a parent, whose child only says, "I love you" when their birthday is coming up, or Christmas is around the corner. It tend to put a bitter taste in your mouth if this happened to you. So, from my experience, its best to show love long term, than for the short term.
Now, what if you can't buy that expensive gift you thought about, my recommendation make something. Yes people, the gifts that last the longest are those that have sentimental value. Hallmark is good, but a card with your own words will end up in their diary or lockbox before the trash bin. Also, its good to listen for clues, your love one may hint to you regarding their past valentines day experiences. A good listener can make a word of difference in someones life.
Also, take into consideration, gift that tend to do more than just sit on a desk, carry more value also. I brought a girl once, a heart shaped globe, thought it was different, gave it a shot. Man, was I was surprised when I found out, she never kept it out for others to see. You see, I didn't realize that the gift wasn't practical enough, and didn't give off the attention she wanted to herself all the time. You see, at times when we had fights, she didn't want to a heart shaped globe, so that globe now became a weapon, if thrown hard enough. lol So, my advice get a gift, when a gift will do. lol

So, this event brings me to my next point, what do you when the love you give isn't reciprocated? How do you handle that moment. Do you walk away, or hand around and follow your pride? Many couples face this dilemma everyday. You're out for night on the town, and suddenly the lights are just right, and the street energy is lively, and then those words are uttered. "I LOVE YOU", and suddenly you can count the seconds it took for a response. Your heart stops, suddenly the day's not going so well, your palms begin to sweat, and you eyes waver, crap your on a limb, then suddenly you get "Oh how cute"...

How cute, how Cute! How nerve racking you mean. Guys some advice, be-careful with the words you utter out, because you can never take them back. Joke or not, its out there, and the way they are digested by the receiving end can really turn your day around. If you experience this event, please feel free to share, and comment.

Until then....

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